Vandaag komt ze!

She is coming today!

My mom, who I have not seen since January of 2007, is flying in today. She has not held her granddaughter since then, too, and she has yet to hold her grandson. I get so emotional thinking about the fact that she will finally, after all these years, get to hold her only grandson for the first time.
Oma is coming. How wonderful life is.

A successful surgery

Dr. Perdue said the surgery went well. He extracted 4 baby teeth that refused to come out on their own.

He also filled a couple of cavities and cleaned Zander's teeth.

He had three teeth where usually people have two!

I knew my little boy had shark teeth...;)

He fell asleep on me when we got home, and slept for 3 hours. He did not want to take his medicine, even though he complained about "auwies". Nope. No sir.

But, he ended up eating 3 bowls of chicken soup broth. "More soup, please", he kept saying.

Now he is asleep in his bed. I pray he will sleep through the night, and be "all done" pain in the morning.

I love that boy so very much.

Sleep!

I am not sure when it started, but my little boy wants to "sleep" every night, right before he goes to bed.
After he puts on his pj"s, he tells me: "go sleep, please".
We either lay down on the carpet, or sit/lay in the chair in his room. I lay down, and he lays on top of me, either tucking in his arms, or hugging me tight. He makes a conscious effort to fall asleep, and most nights I end up carrying him over to his bed, covering him with his little blanket.
They are the most precious, incredibly sweet moments.
I don't think I have ever been more uncomfortable.
I know I have never been happier than during those very uncomfortable moments.
Okay, baby. Let's sleep.

I am so blessed

It was at 9:15pm a few nights ago that I was finally able to sit down and relax for a few minutes.
Very early that morning I had read a blog post by Simple Mom about making a conscious effort to listen, to be patient with your children that day.
As I reflected on my long, long day, I realized I had done a really good job being patient with my children. Some moments it did take some effort and I am totally spent, but also so fortunate, so blessed.
Ms. S. came by today to pick up the toy storage. We got to spend a wonderful 30 minutes of visiting, of talking about cancer, genetic testing and double mastectomies, and about making plans to see Turbo and go ziplining. Who knew this would happen when I put the toy storage organizer on Craigslist to be sold! God knew, and I thank Him for it. It was a great day, and I thank Him for that too.

Pipad, okay? Okay!

My son has taken to asking himself a question, then answering himself right away.
And even though lately he started saying 'hipad' instead of 'pipad', he is still answering his own questions.
He then proceeds to execute, whether it means getting the ipad, turning on Signing Time, or getting 'chip' from the cabinet. He would also get cheese (string cheese is his absolute favorite treat) himself if only he could open the fridge by himself. Thankfully he is not able to do that yet. Who knows for how long, though? Once he can get into the fridge, I will REALLY need to keep track of that little guy!

Ruth, you will be missed!

Has it been nearly three years already??? We had gotten a call that there was a spot for Zander at Susan Gray School, only a few short months after Zander was cleared by Dr. Goudy to attend Day Care. It worked out perfectly! In August of 2009 we showed up with Zander and all his tube-feeding paraphernalia in tow. His classroom was Busy Bees, with Ms. Katie and Ms. Val as his caring and competent teachers. I remember having to deal with a lot of anxiety when I first dropped KK off at daycare, but this was most definitely 10 times as hard! Not only did I have to leave my baby in someone else's care, he also had all these health issues that we had had to deal with from halfway through my pregnancy until that very day. As far as his health issues were concerned, the end was nowhere in sight. Oh, and he also had a little extra in his chromosomal make-up.
From day one (okay, maybe two or three...) until today I have trusted each person completely, knowing that they would have to answer to you. You are a wonderful director with a huge heart for your students and caregivers, and your staff as well. It has been such a blessing knowing you. I credit my confidence and knowledge for Zander's first IEP to you for opening up Susan Gray School on many a Saturday so Wendy Tucker could teach the workshop. It will be with bittersweet sorrow that we say "Goodbye' to SGS at the end of this month, as we continue on our journey through life. I know it will much the same for you, and I would like to say 'thank you' for giving Susan Gray School your all for so many years.
We love you and we will miss you!

Sylvia (and Zander too!)

More melon, please!

My little cheese monster loves water melon too, and lots of it!
Typically, coming home from school or after his afternoon nap, he will ask to watch Signing Time and somehow that goes very well with some cheese. I will break a string cheese in half and, after saying "thank you", he toddles off to the living room, flopping down into his little chair right in front of the TV. Two seconds later he is back to ask for more, at which point he gets the other half and off he goes to his chair once more. No worries about him missing anything from the particular Signing Time dvd that is playing; he has seen all of them at least 450,000 times already!
Two more seconds pass and there he is, back for more 'cheese'. "No baby, cheese is all-done but you can have some melon if you want?". "Yeah, melon", and he heads to the fridge trying to pry it open which, thankfully, is a skill he has yet to master. I fill a bowl with 3 or 4 big pieces and hand it to him. Before he heads off to the living room he tries to lick the melon, and I tell him "no Zander, first go sit, then eat the melon". He knows, but it is a ritual we have established lately. Off he goes, and reappears a few minutes later, asking for more. I ask him: "more what?", and he dutifully repeats after me. He hasn't quite gotten it yet, that he is supposed to say "more melon". We complete another little routine where I say: "more melon, please", and he says "yeah". I say: "say: more melon, please", and finally he says it. And he always says "thank you". The other day I had to get something out of the bedroom and had left the melon container on the counter. I remember hearing him ask for more, but it didn't register right away. When I got back to the kitchen he was just about to walk to the living room, having helped himself to more melon. Now, he could have taken the whole container, but he didn't. Instead my little boy had taken only 4 pieces, neatly stacked in his own bowl, the same amount he gets each time from me...Thank you, Zander!

Doe maar gewoon...

...dan doe je al raar genoeg. That is what my parents always told me when I was growing up. I have been thinking about the right way to translate it, and find it very hard. Just like the word 'gezellig' there is no good translation. I guess the best way to say it would be: why don't you act normally, that is special enough. Again, it is difficult to word it in English, but I have that issue anyway. So weird, now sometimes I know how to say something in Dutch when I need the English words, or the other way around...raar, maar waar!:)

Well Done, the woman said

I made another walk/run today! I will be SO ready for the Best Buddies 5K and am loving this Couch to 5K app. I tried it with Fudge the other day, but had to abort...Fudgie smelled something yummy and stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of the run, almost causing my arm to be ripped out of its socket. I was not prepared for my 70lb pooch to go a different direction! Since I am rather fond of my arms, the result: Fudgie only gets a short walk on the morning of my routine, then I drop him off and go back out.

This morning I finished another one, and the woman said: "Well done"!

I am going to have to think of a name for her, since she is going to be my biggest support over the next couple of months. Hmmm, gotta get back to you on that...

Pettycoat Junction

Friday, June 15th
This beautiful house smack in the middle of Normandy, TN, population 141, was my destination on Friday afternoon. My arrival was delayed by about 1/2 hour as I, amongst tens of other drivers, waited by the railroad tracks for the train to clear. I got very excited when it slowly started moving away from the railroad crossing, until I realized that another one was right behind it, blocking the road. Finally the second one cleared as well, and I was free to continue on my journey. As I crossed over the tracks I kept looking for the turn-off to the left, but it was not there. I knew I had driven 9.4 miles since the last turn and if I continued straight I was going too far. I managed to turn the van around and then stopped on the side of the road. I gave in and signed on to my GPS...
Turns out I did not have to wait for the trains to move at all; the turn-off was BEFORE the tracks!
The drive out there was gorgeous, with signs of pick-your-own blueberries, fresh eggs and bulls for sale, and a stray bale of hay in the middle of the road for good measure.
Angie and Jackie were already there and informed me that the wasps were swarming around the pulley, so I lugged my 3,500-pound supplies up the stairs to the back of the house, where the scraproom was located.
Half an hour later I was all set up and ready to start my scrapbook weekend.
Over the next few hours the other girls arrived. Before we knew it 7pm had arrived, and Bonnie called us down for dinner. It was very yummy, and we decided to go for a little stroll around the neighborhood.
LOTS of dogs...and trains going by. Gosh, I never realized how well-used the railway system in the US is until I stayed at Petticoat Junction!

Hard at work and having fun at the same time



The next morning, after suffering through big-time allergy attacks and passing trains (no, they do not blow their whistle softly at night. If anything, it is even louder than during the day!) I went for my very first run.
The sun was just about to rise, birds were chirping, horses in the front yard grazing, Kid Rock's Born Free in my ear, and the woman's voice from Couch to 5K telling me when to start running, and when to slow down to a brisk walk...exhilirating! That is until I got back to the house and had to add a few blocks to finish my routine, and this yappy dog followed my all the way down the street. I wished I had duct tape!

Coming back to the house I made some coffee and had it on the side porch, with the gorgeous hydrangea in full bloom, its colors so very vibrant in the morning sun.

After my first cup (okay, 3) of coffee I headed back upstairs and got to work on my albums once more.
It was a beautiful, productive weekend, and I am blessed for all the new friends I made: Angie, Jackie, Cheryl, Pam, Rhonda, Kristen, and last but definitely not least Lorrie.

From Couch to 5K

June 14th, 2012

I do not like to run. Never did and definitely never planned on making it part of my exercise routine. Then last year I heard pastor Pete talking about it in one of his sermons. Shortly after that I found out the leaders of our Dave Ramsey workshop were planning on running a 1/2 marathon for a good cause. All of them said how they did not like to run - at all - but were running with a purpose, for a good cause.
I started thinking about it. That was all, just thinking. No action whatsoever was planned on my part, but the seed had been planted, I guess. Okay, maybe I did buy a pair of running shoes. Then again I had done that before and they had ended up in my closet for 2 years and then moved on to (hopefully) better use with another family. But anyway...
So when I got the email for the Best Buddies 5K I immediately set up a team called "Zander's Biggest Fans". I was so psyched that I had actually signed up to run my very first 5K, and it is going to take place on my 46th birthday no less! I think that the date is the reason I saw this as a sign.
All right, so I was all signed up and had no clue where to start!
First thing I did was ask Angel to give me advice, and she told me to check into "from Couch to 5K". I discovered they had a really cool website with all kinds of tips for people like me who never ran in their life and now were hopping to get going. I downloaded the app onto my phone, and after a couple of small issues was able to get the music to go along with it.
I am ready to start training!

Pure joy

Once we got past the cake almost-disaster, it was absolutely beautiful.
Susan Gray School, with its wonderful and amazing teachers, did a splendid job putting together such an emotional event that went off without a hitch (like I said, once we got past the cake thing...).
The best thing: this picture of Zander, with such pure joy on his little face.

One of my very most favorites!

Naptime at our house

It is Sunday afternoon. We all had lunch and it is time for Zander to take a little nap. Since his move to his toddler bed he has not wanted to nap very much, but today he goes down pretty quickly. It only takes him 1/2 hour to fall asleep, not necessarily in bed, but he sleeps nonetheless...or so I think...
KK is writing an email to Ama, still decked out in her Luau outfit she wore to church this morning for the moving up party. I decide it's the perfect time to spend a little while in the front yard pulling some weeds. As I stand up to stretch my back I happen to look toward Zander's window. This is what I see:

Obviously he is not getting a nap today!

KK is writing Ama a long email.

Graduation

Next week my son is graduating. Let's pull out the cake and punch! Absolutely amazing how much progress he has made since he started at Susan Gray School 3 years ago. Thank you to all the wonderful teachers and staff at SGS; they all contributed to Zander's steady progress and I am so grateful for each and every one of them. I do want to thank a few by name: Val and Katie from Busy Bees; Hannah and Dawson from Sea Critters (miss you both tremendously!) and Lisa, Val and Abby in Adventure Island. I most certainly do not want to leave out Bi-Shaun and Ms. Carolyn, as well as Ruth and Michelle, director and assistant director respectively. What an awesome place with all its amazing people that made those years so special.
We are moving on to bigger things, but will never forget SGS, and there will always be a special place in my heart for this great school.
My baby is 4 years old, and he will look smashing in his graduation cap!

Hootie, the one with the udders

Two years ago, when Hootie still had a 'swinging' belly we called udders.
May 18, 2011 is when Hootie went to Heaven.

Letter to Hootie

Dear Hootie,

I must confess that I always thought of myself as a dog person. When I was a baby my parents had to give away our kitten because I was allergic to him.

Since then I grew up with dogs, and later ferrets until I met you.

I know it wasn’t love at first sight.

Butter was how I buttered up to you, and once I got to know you I knew you were no ordinary cat.

I actually wondered many times if you knew you were a cat. You acted so much like a dog most of the time, and even learned to act like a ferret when there were treats involved!

You were not thrilled with the ferrets, though. You did not quite get to the snuggling part as I had hoped, but you tolerated them and I like to believe you had a strange bond with them in the end.

You slowly but surely crept into my heart.

You were terrified of balloons, so I made sure nobody brought them into our house;

You sat up like a ferret, and I rewarded you with ferret paste;

You jumped onto my pregnant belly from the window sill, and I was mad at you for days;

You snuggled up against my growing belly and purred loudly, making a little Jacuzzi for Kaitlyn, and I loved you for it;

You got mad when we put a Santa hat on you for the Christmas picture, and I made sure Daddy would not ever do that again;

I shared my milk with you and you loved me for it;

The maddest I have ever seen you is when we tried to rescue a little kitten until we could find the owner. You made sure that we knew in no uncertain terms that a scrawny creature like that living under the same roof was completely unacceptable to you. To prove your point you jumped first on daddy’s lap, then on mine and hissed at us right into our faces, just making sure…and we made sure to never, ever do that again;

You tried to escape by jumping off the balcony only to bounce back from the screen, and daddy still cracks up every time he thinks about that;

I told you to stop sleeping practically on top of my face, tickling me with you whiskers, and you started purring loudly, making it impossible for me to get any sleep at all;

You tried to escape once more by hiding under the trailer next to our house in Louisiana, and we got you out safely by waving deli meat under your nose;

You reverted back to the ‘ferret’ pose when we got the annoying Fudgie, and you sat on your hind legs and batted the dog’s face with both front paws;

You could not clean your whiskers when you had to wear a cone around your neck, and I cleaned them for you;

You called out a few minutes before you passed away, and KK and I held you and told you we love you…

I miss you so, my sweet Hootie bootie!

I want you to know that these are just a few of the things I remember about you. You had so much personality, such charm and such beauty. You are the most handsome kitty I have ever known and I love you.

I can’t wait to see you again.

Love,

Mommy

The rocking chair

Yesterday I spent much time in the rocking chair. My baby boy was sick. One of those inexplicable bouts of fever that scare me half to death, because his fever is so high and he is so out of it.

So I sit with him in the rocking chair and we rock back and forth, his face on my chest, his little legs hugging my hips, and his little arms tucked in between the two of us. We just rock, for what seems like an hour, and it feels so very good to hold him, comfort him, to feel his breath on my cheek when he looks up at me and sighs a little, then smiles a little. And I totally melt when he wraps those little arms around my neck and squeezes to give me a tight little hug.
Aahhh, heaven.....

The rocking chair has been around a few years. I remember buying it at Walmart almost 8 years ago, when I was pregnant with Kaitlyn. This one was the "inexpensive" version, dark brown wood covered with dark green cloth. Not exactly what I had in mind decor-wise, but it was in our budget, unlike the pretty white wood one with light blue cloth covering. It has since moved into Zander's room. Two of the springs are no longer attached, and the matching ottoman is in the garage somewhere since there is no space for it.
I love that rocking chair, for all of the memories attached. Starting with me breast feeding Kaitlyn, Hootie's 'fave spot' when KK and I were not occupying it, our faithful 'go to' seat for cuddle moments. Then there were the countless times when I just went into their room and rocked, listening to them breathe, and those times (and there were and still are plenty of those) when there was fever or otherwise "not feeling good" involved. We just sit and rock gently. I will sing songs, hum, or tell stories and enjoy holding my baby for a little while longer.

But my most favorite part these days is the time before bed, when we settle into the rocking chair after putting on pj's and get ready to read a book first, then sing songs.
Zander knows the routine and before we are even settled in the chair, he already signs 'book'. So I pick a book or I give him two options and let him pick. We 'read' the book (I read while Zander adds his own comments), then put it away when we are 'all done'. I ask him what he wants to do next and he signs and says "sing". 'Okay, what song do you want to sing first?', I ask. "Pidah", Zander says while bunching his little fingers together to make a spider. Okay, I say, we will sing Itsy Bitsy Spider. And we sing our song and then we clap. Then we sing another song and we clap some more. Finally, I will start singing his bed time song 'slaap kindje slaap', at which point he turns from a sitting position to lay on my chest and tucks his little arms and hands in between us, resting his head on my shoulder and starts soothing himself using his tongue as his pacifier.
I sing the song slowly and sit some more, savoring the moment. Then I put him in his bed, turn the night light on, the big light off and tell him: lekker slapen. I tell him I love him and leave the room, at which point he turns on his belly, tucks his arms and legs in and goes to sleep.
Later, once he is asleep I may return and sit in the rocking chair and listen to my baby breathe.

Happy Birthday, baby!

She is 7 years old today.
She is at home with dad and Zander. I called this morning to sing Happy Birthday to her and she told me it was her best birthday ever! She has a white birthday: our little corner of the world is covered in beautiful, white snow. She has been playing in the snow, making snow angels, throwing snow balls to her poopoo, building a "snow girl" with daddy. The snow girl did not live long, though. She got attacked by Fudge, whose only experience with snow has been getting snow balls thrown at him which he then catches and chews to pieces. Naturally he had the same idea when he saw the "giant snow ball". Snow girl will have to be rebuilt at some point today, once Kaitlyn is tired of watching tv or playing on the computer, or daddy tells her to take a break. Whichever comes first.
My baby is having a great time on her birthday and I am not there. I am snowed in with SuSu, surrounded by a pristine blanket of snow that is preventing me from being with my daughter.
Things could be so much worse, though. I could be stuck on the side of the road, or worse, in a ditch, trying to get home to be with her on her birthday.
Or the power could go out and she could not watch tv or play on the computer...

Predictions of snow

Okay, at first I thought people were pushing it with this whole 'snowstorm' deal, closing schools and all. They actually called at 9:59pm on Wednesday evening with the message that school was closed on Thursday. Still, better than 5am, which happened to Renee in Clarksville.
With all the hype about there being 2 to 4 inches of snow, it was a HUGE disappointment to all of us, but especially to Kaitlyn. She woke up on Thursday and raced to the window, only to be hugely disappointed by the lack of that white stuff. What is so fun about a snow day if there is no snow, she wanted to know.
While having breakfast she told me that she predicted that there would be no snow today.
I predict there WILL be snow, I said, not wanting to give in to the gloominess of her prediction.
About half an hour later she came running and exclaimed: momma, I am changing my prediction! It had started to snow...
Thank you, God!

Merry Christmas

December 26th, 2009 - VERY early morning

4am - my arm is asleep, which wakes me up. I need to 'wake up' my arm in order for me to go back to sleep (is this backwards or what!?) Kaitlyn is already up: Mama, is it morning yet?!?!? No, baby, not yet. Go back to sleep, okay?

5am - my arm woke up, and I went back to sleep. Rousing me from a deep sleep is my daughter: Mama, is it morning now?!?! Sigh...no, baby. Go back to sleep, okay?

5:30am - Zander is up and partying...

6:45am - my son is still partying, although my daughter's room is quiet. I sigh and get out of bed.
Fudge notices me putting on my pants, which means I am up and we are going for a walk!
The weather is beautiful; the sun is almost up and the cold, wet wind feels wonderful, waking me up fully and I take deep breaths of fresh air.

7:15am - I tiptoe back into the house with the paper, turn on the coffee machine and feed the pets. I am hoping to get in a few minutes of alone time before Christmas kicks off. Both children have dozed off. I do not have to worry about Aaron: he is a teenager and will not rise voluntarily before 10am...:)

7:20am - I get Fudge out from behind the tree, where a present with a bone in it for him was "hidden".












7:21am - I make room for Hootie to get behind the tree, since Christmas tree water is a real treat for him and he could not reach because of all the presents Santa dropped off.

7:25am - Jim wakes up, completely taking me off guard. Did you fall out of bed, honey?

7:28am - after reading an article in the paper I am immensely grateful for what we have. Thanking God for all our blessings.

8am - both Jim and I try to wake up the kids, which takes us a long time.

8:15am - finally! The kids are awake (Aaron qualifies as "awake", since his eyes are open) and we are heading for the stockings.

9am - Breakfast is in the oven and Ama and Poppy arrive to witness the opening of the presents. Merry Christmas, everyone!